If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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