Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You were trust falling into bushes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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