Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
