Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
