So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
