I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
