At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
