FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Floor bacon is actually really good
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
