I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
