I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
