I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
