whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
