I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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