if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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