Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
