I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
one might say we're banned from that church
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
