Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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