You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
