So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
