Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
