what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
