can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
