she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
