P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
