I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
