I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
