I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
