I wish I could teleport
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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