My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
