Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
