Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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