that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
