The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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