I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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