S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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