Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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