i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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