I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
