Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
