watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
