brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
