i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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