im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
