i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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