we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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