Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
