I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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