i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
