He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
