I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
